Count Vicegrim’s Letters: Chapter 10 Graduation

The Count Vicegrim LettersThe Demon Mudpot’s Annual Review regarding the Temptation of the Patient in His 24th Year

My Dear Mudpot,

I’m going to regret saying this. I know I will. You are making real progress Mudpot.

Don’t make me regret that.

So lets get to your review.

Successes

I have to say I never expected the success you are having with causing depression in your patient. It seems that he is prone to depression and you have a gift for causing it. In a way, this is a real failure of yours because you waited so long to exploit it. Hopefully you didn’t wait too long.

It is so delightful that you were able to drive him back to pornography in his depression. It is so delightful to see the vermin medicate their pain with sexual images. The short term relief he feels when looking at the images will only drive him deeper into despair. I want to caution you on beating on his conscience too hard. It has the potential to drive him deeper into his depression but it also could drive him to repentance.

It is far better to find a way to burn his conscience out. Try to work our old staple conscience killers like “Nobody’s getting hurt” and “God would want me to be happy.” He is in a culture that sees no problem with pornographic images but scandalizes sexual affairs (I still can’t figure out how the Western Culture Department pulled that off). If we can destroy his conscience, we have almost won.

As he heads to his seminary graduation, it is important that he be driven deeper into a double life. Seminaries are well designed for encouraging a double life and the seminary he attends is even better suited than most. He is intellectually sharp and the faculty is much more interested in a strong theological argument and being culturally savvy than they are in being morally right.

It makes me chuckle as I write this. Mudpot, this is when our job gets fun.

These months leading up to graduation are crucial. If you can get him back into the slow spiral downward now, I suspect you will be able to continue it into whatever church work he has afterward. There is a real opportunity to neuter him.

But the risks are great. Should he be recovered by the Enemy’s Spirit, he will be much more dangerous. He will sympathize with sinners and yet struggle to resist his own sin. A vermin with his potential could be…I don’t want to think about it.

Pull out all the stops to get him to become sexually involved with another female vermin. Your work driving a wedge between him and his wife has been most fruitful. With them having sex less often, there will be more opportunity for temptation. Be ready.

Your work using his depression to drive him into video games, very good. I am more old school than that. Video gaming has never been my favorite temptation. Maybe I need to modernize a bit. Obviously it has been very effective with your patient. He is failing to carry out his responsibilities and then complains when his wife notices and brings it up. You are masterful in guiding him to use words like “controlling” and “nitpicking” and yet he avoids working on the fact that he is lazy. It is lovely to see.

Failures

I am pleased to say that these are fewer than in previous years. They are still serious and need addressing.

Remember that even thought you are having success with overwhelming him, he is still in a seminary and there is still a great deal of the Enemy’s Book around. He is often reading the book and the Enemy’s Spirit can, at any time, use those word to crush you. As much as you can, keep your patient away from the Enemy’s Book.

Additionally, you seem cavalier about the Enemy’s Spirit. He is smarter and much stronger than you are. He is patient and cunning. He is merciless and cruel. He will surprise you and overwhelm you. Be prepared for him. If there is one thing I have learned in my millennia of  work it is that he is never to be underestimated. Be very cautious and vigilant. Watch for his subtle movements and be ready to battle them.

Finally, be very aware that your patient is still claimed by the Enemy. There is nothing you can do to change that. It is not in our power to win him back. There are always plan to find a way to reclaim a vermin that the Enemy has taken, but for now, we cannot do it. The Enemy may have plans for this High Risk that we can’t anticipate.

Overall, your work is good. Don’t screw it up.

-Count Vicegrim

Image created by Cavin and used with permission

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Porn and the Christian Guy: Part 23, The Great Smog

the great smogFrom February 5-9, 1952, London had a problem. A prolonged period of windless conditions caused the cities to be covered in a thick suffocating smog. The source was not mysterious, the many coal-burning factories in the area along with personal coal use to heat houses was the source. But for those several days, the wind didn’t take it away.

The problems it caused were numerous. Public transport ground to a halt as driving became quite dangerous except in the subway system. Ambulances stopped running. Film screenings and shows were canceled because even the indoor air quality was so poor that people couldn’t see the stage. In some places, visibility dropped to as low as three feet.

That would mean that I couldn’t see my toes.

The people of London were frustrated by this, but not alarmed. Smogs had happened before and they dealt with it. Smog masks were used by those who could afford them and small charges were placed on railway lines to warn everyone that a train was coming when it hit the charge and they would explode. This was the price of progress and London was willing to pay it.

What London had no prepared for was the days following the smog. The death rate in London skyrocketed. Modern estimates are that about 12,000 people were killed by the smog (4,000 is the low estimate, 25,000 is the high one). That got people’s attention. Much of today’s environmental movement get its spark from those few days in London.

We live in a similar situation today. Pornography is so endemic that it is considered normal. Possibly a little shameful, but it is a private matter. Many people have spoken against it, but the vast majority don’t feel it is a big enough problem to address.

That is until we see the growing consequences of the smog. Today more American children will be born outside of marriage than within it. Japan is facing a demographic crisis because porn is easier to acquire than sex, so there are many young people giving up sex and certainly giving up on the idea of children. American men are increasingly averse to taking responsibility for their family.

We are in the midst of a great smog today and the negative effects of this smog are about to take center stage. It will be our responsibility as Christian men to stand up and call it what it is. The world will not know that children are delightful unless we show them. Young men will not know it is good to serve our wives unless we show them. Young women will settle for marrying losers unless we show them that they should expect more from men. God will not be shown as deeply satisfying unless we stand as a breath of fresh air in a dying, congested world.

-Chip

Count Vicegrim’s Letters: Chapter 8 Marriage

The Count Vicegrim LettersThe Demon Mudpot’s Annual Review regarding the Temptation of the Patient in His 22nd Year

Mudpot,

No, No, No! Why is it that every day you keep trying to crush your patient in a single stroke? That technique has gone through extensive testing and found to be risky at best. Crushing your victim with temptation only works if they don’t turn to the Enemy for help. As it is, your patient is primed to do just that. Calm down, slow down, and be ready for the long game.

An old mentor of mine once told me, “Vicegrim, outlast your vermin. If they win today, make them win a thousand tomorrows and you have a real chance of getting them.” This is excellent advice for you Mudpot and I am giving it to you despite how repulsed I am by you. Please do not interpret this as fatherly affection. It’s not.

Well, not that my system is cleared a bit, on to your review.

The Good

There is precious little that went well this year. The only positive development is that you have gotten him into one of our most promising seminaries. We have worked for centuries to infiltrate the seminaries as they are key battlegrounds for us. This was working well until several churches started opening their own. It is easier to corrupt an ongoing institution than it is to destroy these upstart seminaries.

One of the strange qualities of the vermin is their ability to compartmentalize. They can honestly go to a school for teaching their pastors and then not be that interested in the church. As if education about the Enemy has nothing to do with relationship with other vermin. The Enemy is crafty, but I think he may have gotten a little to artistic when he built the vermin that way.

Fortunately for us, your patient is willing go to one of our institutions. We have worked hard at this school to emphasize “helping people” to the point that they don’t care that much about the Enemy’s Book. Remember the five Anything Buts, we have really gotten them so obsessed with “loving people” (by that I mean, not making people angry) that they are afraid to challenge sin. It really is so delightful to watch the mental gymnastics the staff goes through to even pretend they are honoring the Enemy’s teaching.

That said Mudpot, be careful. The Enemy’s Spirit is very, very subtle. There are still classes on the Enemy’s Book and verses on the walls. This is treacherous territory. You never know when the Enemy’s Spirit will spring a new trap for you. Be vigilant.

The Bad

As I mentioned in my last annual review, almost every tempter in the world can pull off getting their vermin to fornicate. Seriously, much better the 90%. Yet here we are, just a few weeks before your patient’s wedding and he has still not fornicated. Mudpot, I may roast you for this.

It’s NOT HARD. You get the female to wear something revealing. You get the male to think he is strong enough to be alone with her. You put them in a private place and let hormones do their thing. Many tempters don’t even need to tempt. They just wait and watch. This works Mudpot! I have seen terrible tempters pull this minimal requirement off. What kind of lazy, fat, putrid, ineffective, vermin loving, moron are you!!!

I….I….I’m speechless. How am I ever going to become a Lord again if you…

I have taken a short break from writing. My secretary, Vice-Count Penwort, will be writing the rest as I dictate. It seems in my rage I have turned myself into a roach and I am in no mood to change back.

Let me summarize by saying that if (I mean when) this goes badly and I am blamed for your incompetence, I will personally rip your into little pieces and burn them in my fireplace. You are an idiot and you’re taking me down with you.

We need to prepare for his upcoming wedding. It is likely too late, but anything you can do to derail this wedding, do it. She is too solid in the Enemy’s camp (I checked with her tempter) and she will be an asset to your patient against us. How could you let this happen?

So we need to be prepared for him to be married. Because they have not fornicated, you will need to change your focus. As soon as they are married, we need to do whatever it takes to prevent sexual relations. The Enemy has built into the vermin a special and deep bond that develops between sexual pairs (pardon me while I vomit). This bond can be deepened between them should they enjoy sex with each other. So if you can prevent sexual encounters, do it.

But what can be more fruitful than preventing sex is to poison it. This is dangerous territory Mudpot, but we must go there. We must make his sexual relationship with his wife like the one he has with those pornographic images. Make it solely for his enjoyment. If both partners can be solely pursuing their own enjoyment, we can poison it and make sure that neither enjoy it.

Generally, the male is the key. They are more easily persuaded to be  self-centered. One good trick to try is to get him to try to get the female to do those ridiculous things that he learned in the pornographic images. Help him to feel entitled to sexual enjoyments that she does not enjoy. Make sex as burdensome for the female as possible. This can be a spike to drive between them.

It is key that he never suspects that the pornography is not normal. A cursory review of the sexual literature that the humans have would show him that the pornography was extreme in every way. Don’t ever let him suspect it or he may discover what a fool he is.

Finally, make sex a right. There is a verse in the Enemy’s book that says that married vermin should have regular sex. Make sure he interprets that to mean that they will have sex whenever he wants. Make sure he ignores the verses about serving and loving her. If you can do this, sex will become a chore for the female very quickly.

By the way, if I didn’t have enough reasons to despise you, how is it that your patient is not using pornography any more. Again, every other tempter on the planet seems to pull this off except for you. There are a growing number of tempters with female patients who are succeeding where you are failing. You really are my punishment from the Enemy. As if the Hell he threatens isn’t frightening enough, I have to deal with you in the mean time.

You have been fostering a fear of commitment and responsibility for many years. Make sure to  extend this to being a terror at the idea of having infant vermin. Separate sex and reproduction from each other as if they are wholly unrelated. I have seen males paralyzed with fear and sadness over the prospect of an infant they created. Their tempters were so effective at separating sex and infants that the males are honestly surprised and afraid. Make this happen with your patient.

The other main area to focus on is degrading trust between them. Of course, the best way to do this is to make him untrustworthy. But even if he is acting honorably in most situations, make sure they have miscommunications that are interpreted as lacking trust. Sometimes it is good enough to simply have the appearance of distrust. Drive a wedge between them and slowly expand. Hear me now, I mean do it very slowly.

Mudpot, be patient. Though it looks dark today, it is only through patience that this High Risk will be brought under control. I feel pretty hopeless right now but when I think long and hard about what you can do if you will just be patient….

Nevermind. It is hopeless.

-Count Vicegrim

Image created by Cavin and used with permission

Porn and the Christian Guy, Part 21 Set Free to Set Free

prison-cell1To be in recovery means that many men have served me. What a joy that those men invested in me and worked for my delight in God! Recently, I have realized that with that profound service they have provided comes a responsibility. I am to give the grace that God has given me to others.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too. If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; and if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which you experience when you patiently endure the same sufferings that we suffer. 2 Cor 1:3-6

God has provided comfort to me that I am joyfully obligated to bring to others. I find it fascinating that Paul says, “If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation.” I don’t think this simply means righteous suffering, but also suffering for our sins. My affliction which is from my sin can be for the comfort of others.

How liberating is that! Not only is my suffering working out for my joy, but also for the joy of others. I have, in the past, wrongly felt that the only suffering that God could really use was ‘righteous’ suffering from really spiritual people. You know, the Bible Superheroes. This is obviously wrong, but I believed it.

Take, for example, the sin of David with Bathsheba. David suffered terribly for his sin. God killed his son. But then God used that to bring about the birth of Jesus. Talk about redeeming a terrible situation. It doesn’t make the sin less evil. It shows that God is simply that powerful.

What about Paul’s sinful desire to kill the church at Damascus? Talk about evil, his purpose was specifically to stamp out believers in Jesus. Surely God couldn’t redeem that. But Jesus kicks him off his donkey, yells at him, leaves him blind for several days (it took a bit of work to get the message through), and then created the most effective missionary ever. Paul’s sin was used to bring about Paul’s joy and mine.

Now obviously we should not “sin that grace may increase”, that is a special kind of corruption. But I should take comfort in the fact that God can and does use my sins to redeem me. And not just me, he uses my sins to help me be his hand to redeem others.

I am not simply set free to redeem myself. I am not a cul-du-sac of joy. No, I have been set free to help set others free! God doesn’t just let me watch him work. He lets me participate in his work. I am a little boy getting to work with my dad in the garage and “help” him work.

So gentlemen, don’t be content to simply be rescued by Jesus yourself. The deeper joy is being like Jesus and reaching out to others to show them the way. In the context of recovering from porn addiction, don’t be a wall flower. Be active in supporting your brothers who are struggling as well. God has provided special comfort and grace to you. Please don’t keep it to yourself.

-Chip

Count Vicegrim’s Letters: Chapter 7 Neutering the Clergy

The Count Vicegrim LettersThe Demon Mudpot’s Annual Review regarding the Temptation of the Patient in His 21st Year

Mudpot,

Engaged! You let your patient become engaged and yet you have not gotten him to fornicate yet. What am I to do with you Mudpot!? This is a male college student in the Western world. ALL OF THEM FORNICATE…except yours. To be clear, almost all of them fornicate. How is it that millions of tempters are able to pull this off and you can’t? I’m not asking you to get him to renounce the Enemy!

You are an idiot.

I suppose I have to write your review now.

The Acceptable

I see you have further encouraged your patient’s ‘tolerance’. In fact, I even heard from another tempter how helpful your patient was by encouraging a friend to sin by saying, “God would want you to be happy.” This is my personal favorite excuse for sin. As if the sin we encourage will make them happy. Mudpot, you aren’t simply working our ends for your patient, but are making him an evangelist for the destruction of others. Good work.

Keep the tolerance coming. An important area to press this into is ‘religious tolerance’. In centuries past, this meant that the various religious groups didn’t declare war and kill each other. We have so changed it now that it means that tolerance means that one can’t even really believe their religious teaching. If one really looks at their religious text and believes it, that is now intolerant. The religion of the day is that all religions should be nice to each other and that no religion is really right.

Of course, no one really believes that. Not even the vermin. When someone is murdered, suddenly they all believe in right and wrong. When one of them steals from another, no one ever says that they simply have a religious preference about ownership. Like most of our teachings, this would be easy to disprove if the vermin didn’t want to believe it so badly.

His increasing isolation from other children of the Enemy is very helpful. Along with the notion of tolerance, we have added the idea that religious preferences are not just personal, but exclusively personal. So personal, in fact, that to mention them to others is rude. We have been able to drag more of the Enemy’s children out of the church with this than any other tool I can remember. The church, of course, is a place where beliefs are not personal but are subjected to being either true or false. Not a place we want to go.

Mudpot, you need to foster in him the very American belief that he can go it alone. That he needs nothing and no one. He can make up for himself men who did it by themselves without support and conquered their enemies. He needn’t consider that no man has ever done anything without help from others and no man has ever worked against us effectively without the Enemy’s Spirit. Let him believe that accepting help or correction is somehow weakness.

I love how you have gotten him so deeply convinced that the “forgiveness” of the Enemy’s Son is really just a chance for him to do whatever he wants. Fight any notion of guilt or remorse. The Enemy’s Spirit in him will be making him uncomfortable, it is your job to make him complacent. A few good statements to keep him saying are “nobody’s perfect” and “everybody makes mistakes”. These are so glorious for us because they recognize that there is a sin and the fail to do anything about it. I like to call those two statements the Conscience Killers. Use them often Mudpot.

The Totally Unacceptable

He is engaged and not fornicating. Some of the poorest tempters out there can pull this off Mudpot and you can’t. I don’t think you realize the harm this can do to us. If he can avoid fornicating before his marriage he will be much better prepared to avoid adultery after he is married. The patience he is learning will be a very dangerous tool in the Enemy’s hands. Get your patient fornicating!

Convince your patient that if he feels committed that he is “married in God’s eyes”. You see, the vermin really do mix up felt commitment with commitment. None of them would tell their pastor that they were just impatient so we need to equip him with a good excuse.

His plans to go to seminary have been moving forward. This is causing great concern in the Lowerarchy. It is doubtful that you will be able to persuade him to become a plumber, so I think you should focus your energies on getting him into one of our seminaries. You need to use ‘tolerance’ to its full potential now. Guide him to seminaries that are ‘open’ to ‘alternative lifestyles’. If he can come to believe that ‘acceptance’ is the same thing as Love, then we have him.

You see, acceptance is nice. There is no conflict with it. It makes one look enlightened and kind. Love, on the other hand, can often lead to conflict. To truly love someone, the vermin must press them toward the Enemy. This is not very ‘accepting’.

I have included a list of seminaries that will meet our needs. Make sure he gets into one of them. I have also included a copy of the book Neutering the Clergy by Lord Blackmist. It is the best work on how to handle this very dangerous group.

Finally, I would like to emphasize and important section from Neutering the Clergy. It is the five ‘Anything Buts’. If you can get your patient to go for anything but these, we have already won. They are:

Anything but the Enemy’s Book

Anything but Faith

Anything but Grace

Anything but the Enemy’s Son

Anything but the Enemy’s Glory

Work hard to take away these pillars of the Enemy. Review the ‘Anything Buts’ every day and hammer at them. There is hope to neuter him if you do this thoughtfully.

Not that you are good at doing anything thoughtfully.

Count Vicegrim

Image created by Cavin and used with permission

Porn and the Christian Guy: Part 20, What if He Won’t Change?

Man using a laptopA recent commenter to the article My Husband is Looking at Porn, What Should I Do asked a very important question. She had tried bringing the problem to her church and it hadn’t helped. She asked, “How on earth does someone (have hope)?” 

I pondered on this for some time. This usually means that I didn’t have a simple answer for her. It also meant that if she asked, there were a hundred women who had the same question. The topic needed to be addressed.

Everything I mention below assumes that you have confronted him about his sin in a gentle and firm way, that you have prayed for him, that you have brought it to your church, and he continues to look at porn. Those are the first steps. But what if those don’t work? It is certainly a complex question so forgive me if my answers don’t apply to your situation. The details matter. I hope to offer some help.

A Brief Theology of Marriage

Biblical marriage is a life-long covenant between a man, a woman, and God. It comes with obligations and benefits. It is meant to somehow present a picture of Jesus and the Church. The connection is so clouded that Paul says “this mystery is profound.” Within that picture, the husband stands in the position of Jesus and is commanded to love and serve his wife in a deeply sacrificial way (see the book of Hosea for even more on that). The wife, in the position of the Church, is to respect her husband and submit to his authority.

The Bible repeatedly refers to a married couple as “one flesh” and Jesus is insistent that God has made it this way. “What God has joined together, let no man separate.” Within that, Jesus does teach that if there is sexual unfaithfulness, divorce is permitted but not required.

One final clarification, despite Jesus’ discussion of lust being adultery (Matt 5:27-28), lust by itself is not a Biblical ground for divorce. The sin in the heart is profoundly evil, but the act of infidelity is the grounds Jesus allowed divorce.

Now, what can a wife do if her husband will NOT stop looking at porn.

Keep Praying

The fact is that God alone can change his heart.

If anyone sees his brother committing a sin not leading to death, he shall ask, and God will give him life–to those who commit sins that do not lead to death. There is sin that leads to death; I do not say that one should pray for that. (1Jn 5:16 ESV)

There can be some debate about what a “sin that leads to death” is, but it would be a small category of sins (blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, unbelief, etc…). Pornography on its face would not be such a sin.

So we are left with the instruction to pray for our spouse’s sin. Don’t give up. Sometimes God pushes us to the end of ourselves precisely because he can then be given the glory for what he is about to do. You have a Father who loves you and wants to grant your prayers, keep asking him to bring your husband to repentance.

Be Gentle and Firm

And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will. (2Ti 2:24-26 ESV)

To correct a husband who is looking at porn and won’t stop, the wife should not be quarrelsome but should be challenging her husband with patient and gentleness. Take note that God is the one responsible to “perhaps” grant them repentance. I love how Paul describes that they “may come to their senses.”

Know that There is Justice for You

If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all. Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” To the contrary, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Rom 12:18-21 ESV)

I have more often heard Christians say, “Don’t get bitter” but then fail to explain why you should not be bitter.

If your husband is not a believer when he dies. He will awaken facing the God of the Universe. He will be accused of every sin he ever committed. The evidence will be certain, overwhelming, and damning. He will look and no one will come to his defense. As he raises his eyes to see the Judge, he sees a deep rage: a profound indignation for every single time he failed to love you. The almighty God of all things will loudly declare to all living things that he is condemned.

He will then be dragged, screaming to a lake of fire. As he stands on the brink of that lake, he will know without a doubt, that he will never escape it. As he falls toward the flaming waters, he feels the dread of his last moments of comfort. The pain of contact will sear him to his bones and as he screams, unable to bear this for even a second, he despairs knowing that it will never, ever end.

I think that is sufficient justice for what he has done to you. God will make sure that every sin is avenged.

If your husband is a believer when he dies, then all of that suffering mentioned above was pour onto Jesus. Jesus was so afraid of this that he begged God for another way. Yet, he loves you and your husband so much, he willingly went to the cross. He endured an eternity of Hell in a few hours. For the only time ever, he was rejected by God. He loves your husband that much.

Your husband was the one who stayed up late looking at porn, Jesus was the one who was declared guilty. Is it fair? Of course not. It speaks to the profound character of God that he would choose to suffer for sinners like us.

If Jesus has taken your husband’s sin away, who are we to say that justice has not been done. It is that same mercy that holds you and I out of Hell as well.

So rest in the fact that justice will be done. At some point, you will look at the depths of Hell or into the eyes of Jesus and say, “that punishment is enough for what he did to me.” Trust God that he is not a wimp but a warrior who will see all of this made right. In that trust, don’t be bitter. Surely God’s justice is so severe that we would have compassion on those who will suffer so much at his hands. God does the justice so that we are free to love.

Have Hope

Back to the original question, how should we have hope? The answer is that our hope can never be in a husband, child, church, or friend. Those are good things, but if we hope in them, we will be stunningly disappointed. No, we hope in a sweet and kind Father who loves us so much. He will never, ever fail us. Your hope is in your true husband, Jesus, who knows what you are going through and has “been tempted in every way.” He loves you. He will set this right.

Some trust in chariots (or husbands) and some in horses (or friends),
but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.
They collapse and fall,
but we rise and stand upright. (Ps 20:7,8 ESV)

I know this is hard. God never promised that it wouldn’t be. He just promised that it would be worth it.

-Chip

Don’t Be a Saber-Toothed Squirrel

scratOne of my favorite characters in all film is Scrat from the Ice Age movies. He is obsessed with one thing and one thing only: acquiring acorns. His sole reason for living is to get an acorn. He will risk anything, go anywhere for that acorn. You can imagine the joy and excitement he experiences once he gets it.

Except he isn’t happy. He clutches his acorn with passion. He worries that he will lose it. Once he has it there is no joy, only worry that he will lose it.

In addition to the worry, he starts to want…wait for it…another acorn. Not only is one acorn not enough but a thousand is not enough. Scrat is doomed to misery. There is no number of acorns that he would be happy with.

We laugh at Scrat. He is hilarious. Why so funny? Because he is us.

As Americans, we are some of the wealthiest people who have ever lived. We aren’t hungry. We aren’t thirsty. We sleep in beds at night. We have a God who has supplied all our needs. We are also not content. We have a 1000 acorns, but we know a guy who has 1002 and we envy him.

This is also a driver of our porn addiction as a people. We want our wives and we want other women too. So we stare at other women. Refusing to be content with what we have we open ourselves to all kinds of misery. So many of the relationship stresses we bear can be traced back to this discontent. We become envious (for more on this, check out this incredible sermon on the many faces of envy). Despite the many graces given to us, we refuse to be happy with the wife God has provided.

Like asking Scrat to be content with the acorns he has, it is never quite as simple to apply the principle as it is to say it. But don’t let you excuse factory get going. I can imagine all of the arguments Scrat could come up with.

“I’m just concerned about having enough for the future.”

“God would want me to be happy.”

“You see, I have needs. I need to eat acorns.”

“You could never understand how hard it is to not have an acorn.”

Like all excuses, these are reasons that we come up with to remain miserable. Somehow, we vehemently protect the wall between us an joy.

So be content, brothers. Don’t be a saber-toother squirrel!

-Chip